When one's character begins to fall under suspicion and disfavor, how swift, then, is the work of disintegration and destruction.
I really like this quote, although I would maybe replace "character" with mind, or something along those lines, since character implies something a little too fixed or at least continuous for my taste. Anyway, it's petty easy to see how, when your mind is covered over by worry, suspicion, or any other powerful emotion or story - there's definitely a disintegration that occurs. Not only don't you see things as they are, but you also tend to see things that actually aren't. In other words, your clarity into life as it is right now disintegrates.
Consider worry, and it's attendants over-thinking, over-doing, and over-planning. At their roots is really a failure to have trust in the ok-ness of the present moment. That no matter what, at some level, everything is truly ok just as it is. Which is not about having some naive, rosy view of life, nor about letting destructive words and actions go unchecked. It is about the bone deep recognition of the sacredness of all beings - of the buddha-nature being expressed continuously, everywhere.
So, I've been working with all of this recently. Noticing the appearance of anxiety and worry about a few specific issues in my life. Mostly related to, ironically, my zen center and my yoga practice as it is and might be in the future. Feeling the bubbling up of tension in my chest and stomach. The rising stories that want to spin out and sometimes do. Remembering to return to the breath, stopping and doing a few yoga poses, or calling up the Jizo mantra - an old friend in practice. Experiencing the fading tension and noise in the mind. Moving on.
Kind of amazing to think of how much "internal drama" must be going on in this world full of people we live in.
* Image is of Salvador Dali's "The Disintegration of Persistence of Memory"