Saturday, November 20, 2010

Soto Zen Zombies

Inspired by this hilarious post over at Elephant Journal "documenting" the signs a friend is becoming a yoga zombie, I present to you:

Eight Signs of a Soto Zen Zombie, or an Eight Fold Path not to follow

The person in question is found:

1. Wearing his/hers rakusu while sitting on the toilet. When questioned about this, the person says "I'm meditating on letting go of defilements."

2. Every e-mail the person sends ends with the closing "bows."

3. Every gathering the person attends is disrupted when the person lifts their empty wine glass into the air, and loudly, enthusiastically declares that "all is inherently empty!"

4. The person in question gets fired from their job for sliding into "sesshin talk" too often during important work meetings, and then explains to a state welfare official that they were wrongly fired, and were only offering their co-workers a glimpse of their original face.

5. They have a shrine to Dogen in their home that threatens to overtake both the kitchen and the living room.

6. The person has "Suzuki Roshi said" or "Katagiri Roshi said" tattooed down their arms so that, when on retreat, they can still offer something wise to their fellow practitioners.

7. They now bow instead of give handshakes or hugs, even with strangers.

8. The answer to any and all problems in life, personal or social, is "more zazen!"


BK Max said...

That is funny, funnier yet still is we all probably know someone just like that(looking inward-not pointing any fingers!)

Marguerite Manteau-Rao said...

Love it! thank you for making me laugh, and also, on a more serious note, a chance to reflect on the dangers of becoming attached to a 'Buddhist' identity.

With metta,


daishin, oops, peter said...

This made me laugh. I do/have done at least 2 of the 8-- although rarely at the same time.

with palms together, metta, and an extra deep bow.

Nathan said...

I had a period of doing two of them myself when I was a bit of a zen fanatic :)