Practicing Conflict - a Path of Generosity?

Image from Crazy Dog T-shirts.

Here's are really interesting Q and A from Trungpa Rinpoche's book Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism.

If you have conflicts with other people, making it difficult to relate to them, what do you do?

Well, if your desire to communicate, which is generosity, is strong, then you have to apply prajna, knowledge, to discover why you are unable to communicate. Perhaps your communication is only one-directional. Perhaps you are unwilling for communication to come from the other direction as well ... we have to be careful to see the whole situation, rather than just being keen to throw something at the other person.

I'm really interested in this view of communication as generosity. Really seeing it in that way changes how it is approached. In a way, if you are attuned to the moment, and open to what is being called for, then you can't help but be generous. This might mean pulling back and staying quiet. Or it might mean praising someone's strong points, even if they also are displaying a lot of weaknesses. It might also mean clear, precise criticism driven by an intention to help someone see something they are missing. Or a calmly stated correction to someone who has spoken falsely, or wrongly, about something.

Trungpa Rinpoche says "Essentially, we have to provide some kind of space and openness." So, whatever is it we intend to try and communicate with someone, our job is to do so in a way that allows the other some room to work with.

In addition, it's important to learn to be open to receiving something in return, even if it comes in a form that isn't so easy to digest. In other words, it might be helpful to ask yourself now "How am I going to deal with the next 'ego insult'?" Instead of waiting for the next "fuck off" or "you're an idiot" to arrive in your e-mailbox, practice now, so it might not be such a shock later.

Let's go even further. Maybe those kind of blunt things roll off your back. Or you just ignore them. How about something a little less easy to tease out? Something like "I'm surprised you say it's ok to have an abortion. How can you be Buddhist and pro-choice?" My guess is people get comments like this often: not overtly nasty, but testy none the less because they call to question one's identity - that is, if there is strong attachment present.

So, it might be a good idea to practice receiving these kinds of comments as well. Because really, if you think about it, communication is not only what we say and do, but also how we receive what others say and do.

Your thoughts?

"Widening Circles" and Spiritual Materialism

In her memoir "Widening Circles," Joanna Macy writes of a time with one of her Buddhist teachers, just after she had finished graduate school. Full of excitement about all that she learned, and an eagerness to show her teacher, Khamtrul Rinpoche, how much of a scholar she had become, she told him of her efforts to learn the Pali language and how reading the teachings in their original language was giving her a whole new appreciation for dependent co-arising.

Upon receiving all this, his first question was "Does this help you to increase in compassion?"

It's a powerful moment, one which can pivot us away from the mind of acquisition that is so strong in our culture.

Like so many other forms of materialism that pervade our lives today, spiritual materialism is everywhere, in all shapes and sizes. From new age groups and teachers focused solely on gaining financial comfort, to mega-church Christians who spread the message that accumulating wealth is a path to God and a sign of spiritual favor, the grosser elements of spiritual materialism are fairly easy to spot.

But what about this more subtle issue expressed in Macy's experience with her teacher?

The human mind loves to inquire, question, investigate, discover, uncover, expose, play with, and just plain learn. And often it's really good at doing so.

Yet, reflecting on Macy's experience, and on moments in my own life, I do wonder how often I (we) land in the game of collecting knowledge in order to protect ourselves, make things a little more comfortable, or to stand above others.

Learning is a beautiful experience when it is freed from the confines of self-serving agendas. It strikes me that Khamtrul Rinpoche was pointing at this very thing when he spoke of compassion.

How can we reorient ourselves every day towards learning in order to manifest compassion and do things that relieve suffering for others and ourselves?

Bikram Yoga: The End Logic of a Love Affair with Capitalism

This is probably old news to some in the wider yoga world, but I hadn't heard of it until stumbling on the following from an article in Yes Magazine:

Through centuries of evolution as a spiritual practice, any new yoga poses or techniques were automatically incorporated into the tradition for everyone to use. But beginning in 1978 an Indian named Bikram Choudhury, now based in Beverly Hills, copyrighted certain long-used hatha yoga poses and sequences as his own invention, Bikram Yoga, and he now threatens other yoga studios teaching these techniques with lawsuits.

Umm ... yeah... I want to offer some measured words about this, but mostly I view all this as absolutely fucked up.

The Bikram website offers more details about the specific lawsuit from seven years ago, as well as some "cautions" to students and teachers interested in Bikram practice. Here's a taste of that:

Bikram's Yoga College of India reminds yoga practitioners and aspiring yoga instructors everywhere that this litigation serves as a powerful example of why there is no benefit to learning from uncertified and unlicensed yoga instructors who claim to teach Bikram yoga or "something like it."

The simple facts are these:

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No one may teach Bikram Yoga classes unless he/she is a certified and licensed Bikram Yoga teacher.
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No one may teach or certify others to become Bikram Yoga teachers other than Bikram Choudhury.
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No one may offer obvious, thinly disguised copies of Bikram Yoga and represent to the public that it is "their" yoga.

Yoga students should be particularly cautious of those persons who claim to offer teacher training and/or teacher "certification" in Bikram Yoga, or represent or suggest that their yoga teacher training program "is just as good as Bikram Yoga." Nobody may teach others to become Bikram Yoga teachers other than Bikram Choudhury himself.

This lawsuit is proof that the legal system will vindicate Bikram against those persons who exploit and adulterate Bikram Yoga for their own purposes.

Oh, where to start. I find lawsuits of this nature, involving attempts to control the spread of religious/spiritual practices and teachings, quite troubling. Finding the line between an individual or organization's new and original work, and the historical underpinnings of that work is rarely an easy task. In addition, the whole infusion of monetary settlements, patent rights, and proprietary controls, while seemingly a correct response in a capitalist society, creates a shift away from basic protections of religious/spiritual teachers and institutions, and towards a corporate re-culturing.

Bikram wasn't fighting unjust zoning laws, or trying to keep his school open and maintain a decent livelihood: it was all about making shit-tons of money. Consider this:

As of 2006, there were 1600 Bikram studios around the world.

Teacher training fees for each prospective teacher are $7000, much higher than the average yoga teacher training.

Bikram owns more than 40 Rolls Royces and Bentleys, as well as over 100 designer watches.

You can buy almost anything with a Bikram label on it, including a Set of Two Handmade SWAROVSKI CRYSTAL Glasses with Bikram Logo for only $75. Wine after yoga perhaps?

When asked about how much money he's making, Bikram himself responded "It's huge,' he says, 'I'm making - I don't know - millions of dollars a day, $10 million a month - who knows how much?"

Sounds like deep spiritual practice, doesn't it? Actually, Bikram doesn't really talk much about the spiritual background of yoga. There's a lot of talk about health and wellness, which is not a problem. Obviously, like Buddhist meditation, yoga has more and more slid into secular culture, appearing everywhere from corporate board rooms to Christian hospice programs. I've written about some of the downsides of this trend before, but I don't believe secular versions of spiritual practices are always a bad thing.

However, going back to Mr. Choudhury, here's a mouthful he delivered while leading a class of over 250 people:

'Bikram yoga is good for marathon sex!' he shouts. 'Once you do Bikram yoga you can't get it down for 72 hours!' Some manage to chortle, in spite of their contortions. 'The biggest problem in the Western world is divorce! Wind Removing Pose!' In response to this order, everyone lies on their backs with knees bent and pulled up into armpits. 'Why buy the cow if you don't get the milk? If a woman cannot do this posture don't think about getting married ... NO GAPS! If there is gap, instead of nice sex the man will be playing ping-pong under the bed, the husband loses his balls ... '

Nothing like a little sexism, heterosexism, and sexualizing to keep the body going, eh? Perhaps all the GLBTQ students were excused during this part of the program.

There's nothing even remotely enlightened or wise about any of this in my opinion. Bikram makes controversial Zen teachers like Richard Baker Roshi, who also had a fondness for fast money and fancy cars, or Genpo Roshi, whose Big Mind Process has made big money, look like specks of dust. However, all three of them are examples of charismatic spiritual teachers who fell for the lures of greed and power, believing that there is such a thing as a healthy merger of hyper-capitalist business practices and ancient religious/spiritual teachings.

Given the exponential increase of interest in "Eastern" religions and philosophies amongst people in predominantly capitalist nations, it is even more the case that the intersections between the two must be closely examined. It's not enough to just import these ancient teachings and practices, and then say whatever happens with money and finances isn't that important. Or that it's only a matter of not stealing and following societies laws about finances.

There are many fine, devoted communities already grappling with these challenges, including my own sangha. However, I think it's also fair to say that there is quite a dearth of lucid commentaries on the ways in which "Western" Buddhist and yoga communities are actually working with money and finances, how that effort meshes or doesn't mesh with their school's teachings, and how whatever is being learned might be truly applied to issues of Right Livelihood. Denials of, or gross ignorance of classism, for example, is still a hallmark of these institutions. Good intentions aren't enough; everything from membership dues, to class fees, to the ways in which classes are taught and what issues are focused on must be deeply examined.

When I think of working with some of my former ESL students for example, considering their struggle to stay out of deep poverty, to learn a new language and culture, and to come to terms with the violence and/or oppression they experienced in their native countries (and which some continue to experience here in the U.S.), I don't think $200 classes or discussions about whether or not children are "indoctrinated" by being introduced to Buddhism as kids are going to cut it.

I doubt the majority of teachers or organizations will ever reach the absurdity of Bikram and his "yoga school," but extreme examples are always wonderful opportunities to take a closer look at ways in which each of us and our communities are handling whatever issues are involved.

*Photo is of Bikram hanging with his homeys. Ummm, yeah...

Why Eat, Pray, Love Might Be Valuable Inspite of Itself

Trevor from The Big Old Oak Tree published parts of a really cool discussion he and some friends had on Facebook. At the center of it was the book and now movie Eat, Pray, Love. I have to say I find Gilbert's writing pretty self-absorbed, and also littered with unexamined privilege, spiritual materialism, and exoticizing (oh, those lovely, spiritual Asian people) kind of crap.

And yet, at the same time, beyond this, there is that appeal of the spiritual journey being documented which is worth considering. Gilbert is, like the rest of us, just trying to figure things out.

Both of these view points appear in the discussion Trevor and friends had. Just behind them, though, is really an effort to consider what it means to practice in the middle of a capitalist, material driven society.

On the one hand, you have this:

Koji Rick Dreher
i came to buddhism through punk rock, i have a different angle than most of my peers and teachers in dharma. this leaves me feeling pretty isolated and sometimes i want to scream from the rooftops to see if there's an echo. michaela echoes, robert aitken echoed, david loy echoes, gudo uchiyama echoed, ajahn amaro echoes. to me, the robe is 100% save all beings, 100% fuck capitalism, and 100% fuck self-interest. i'm gonna have to bum some people out if i'm gonna say what i think. i'm against mainstream, secularized, self-indulgent yoga culture, i'm against the omega institute, i'm against esalen, i'm against cafe gratitude, i'm against work, and i'm against the economy. i'm coming out! chant down babylon!

A lot of this echoes for me as well, but the "100%" and "against" spirit doesn't quite work in my opinion. It feels too dramatic, and also too much like all these other groups throughout history that have been reactions against, rather than responses to, a dominant culture. Do you understand the difference? Reactions against are stuck in duality, whereas responses to can include what's present, but transcend the limitations of what's present (and also what's absent).

On the other side of Koji's statement is this:

V:
Maybe one day, some of you here will be in the position to offer practice discussion. And maybe one day a 'rich, white, skinny lady' will come to you and sit down in front of you and fold her yoga-clothes clad legs and speak to you about h...er suffering. How will you respond? Hopefully not with the contempt and judgement I hear in some of these posts. I hope, for your sake as well as hers, you will respond with compassion. Now I know compassion can look a lot of ways and can even include a slap and a shout, but I don't feel that's the kind of slapping and shouting that's happening here. It's contempt and judgement, plain and simple, and it's just as toxic as spiritual materialism. So please be careful.

Koji -- That "nuerotic self-obsessed rich lady on the vacation of a lifetime" is caught in a cycle of suffering and while you say that this doesn't have anything to do with genuine spiritual practice, nothing could be further from the truth. Those yoga clothes have the first noble truth written all over them. Our vow is to meet the person behind the clothes and help them.

Y'all are raising excellent, important points about spiritual materialism and I'm glad you're doing this. I hope you never stop using your sharp wits and critical thinking to ferret out hypocrisy and I hope you will always raise your voice against what's lurking in the shadows. But I also hope you can find a way to keep doing that without using them as a weapon against your fellow human beings.

The last two sentences seem to be the crux of dealing with a lot of life. How to renounce being nasty towards others without also going soft, and being "nice" in the process. I do bristle as the comment "Our vow is to meet the person behind the clothes and help them." Maybe it's just the word "help," which I also use a lot, but feel is sloppy at best, and at worst, creates a mental power imbalance that often translates into an actual power imbalance when working with others. The old director at my workplace used to say "We don't help people, we walk with them." This is closer to what I feel the vows I took were talking about.

Without the success of Gilbert's book, these kinds of discussions might not be happening. So, even though I have a load of reservations about the actual product and the syrupy-sweet reception many people are giving it, I'm thankful that the book and now movie have given people an opportunity to really consider what they are doing with their lives, and how "the spiritual life" might occur in these challenging times.