We Are Becoming Strangers to Each Other

The other day, I was on a bus heading to work. There was a guy sitting near me with his headphones turned all the way up. Across the aisle, another guy talked loudly into a cell phone about banalities to some other guy he'd never met before. At one point, head phone dude turned to the woman sitting next to him and said, "This is why I got these headphones. For idiots like that," pointing to the guy on the cell phone. Then he returned to bopping his head to the techno music the entire front end of the bus could hear.

When reflecting on this scene, a few things come to mind. First off, the ways in which simple connecting and interacting with strangers or relative strangers is often sorely lacking in modern urban life. The invasion of technology, as well as multiple generations of people indoctrinated to fear their neighbors, or be suspicious of the actions of those they don’t know, has made something as basic as conversations between strangers a rarity. In addition, the disappearance of public space in many cities has eliminated the majority of opportunities to even have those conversations – to make connections with people who you probably would normally not connect with otherwise.

Public spaces are being privatized by the minute. Spending more time in downtown Minneapolis recently, it was interesting to read this article, which points out how little public space is actually left for people to gather together downtown. Not only does the lack of public space lead to more segregated places, but it also creates severe limits on the ability of people to exercise basic rights, such as the right to petition the government and conduct public demonstrations about social issues.

At the same time, remaining public spaces, like buses, are filled with a mixture of invasions into personal space and a lack of healthy, shared interactions between people. On another ride filled with people on cell phones, blackberries, and head thumping music, the guy sitting next to me tried to strike up a conversation with me. However, since I’d spent the previous half an hour bombarded by the noise of cell phone conversations and music from ipods, I could barely follow what he was saying.

And maybe it's just me, but just having a conversation with a stranger for the sake of it seems to becoming rarer and rarer. People want money. Or a cigarette. Or to borrow a cell phone. Or a lighter. As soon as such requests are fulfilled or not fulfilled, the interaction is over. It's totally understandable that someone who is destitute and desperate will be focused on getting their basic needs met. However, I'm seeing this behavior all over, seemingly regardless of background and needs. And I can’t claim to be all that much better. Sometimes, I try to interact or at least smile at people I meet on the street or on the bus. Other times, I avoid eye contact all together, hoping to avoid an expected request that I can’t, or don’t wish to fulfill.

How much of this is a regional, or national theme? I don’t know. It would be interesting to hear other folks’ experiences with these issues. Do you think it’s more difficult to have actual conversations with people in public places? Do you ever strike up conversations with strangers? Do you have any interesting stories related to this topic to share with the rest of us?

Joys of Our Ancestors

I remember sitting with my great grandmother two summers ago on the back porch, chatting a little bit and mostly, sitting in silence listening to the birds. When we did talk, the conversation was basic. Nothing really "profound" was said. And there was a sharing that went beyond words, regardless of whether we were talking or not. I'm not sure I ever asked great grandma what she though of the world today, and she's gone now. However, I know that one of her favorite things to do was to play cards with family and fiends. Sitting around a table chatting, goofing off, and occasionally cheating (more than once, that needed ace or king "magically" appeared from under the table) - that was the good life to her. Nothing fancy. No designer gadgets. No virtual game systems. Sound systems.

If we don't remember the joys of our ancestors, we'll lose apart of ourselves. Our lives cross all of space and time, if only we'd let them.

Standing Against Isn't Going Far Enough

Carole, over at ZenDotStudio, offered the following towards the end of her current post:

So if we pursue a spiritual path it is as RM Jiyu Kennet said, "we are standing against the world," that is against the conventional outward looking nature of modern human life.

I agree and disagree. When I look at who I am in the world, what I value and how my life "looks," it's absolutely the case that it doesn't go along with the conventional way of living and valuing. I'm not a corporate ladder climber or a somewhat discontented office worker. I don't give a damn about the latest American Idol contest, the newest online video game, or what's in fashion. I'm not motivated by white picket fences, two car garages, and the various lush comforts that our society offers. I often learn about fads after they have started waning or have been replaced by something else. I'm dedicated to a spiritual path, and am driven by social/political values many deem to be idealistic, and even traitorous. In all of this, I would agree with what Carole and Kennet are saying.

However, what interests me is the "standing against" portion of the comment. It's a stance, view, feeling that I know all too well. I have lived it, loved it, hated it, and fear it - that standing against. It can be a deeply lonely landscape to live in, one that offers fingertips into authenticity, but which lacks a connection to the wellspring of divine support we all have access to.

The problem with maintaining a way of being that is standing against is that it's a form of separation, a method of remaining trapped in a dualism. The modern world, with all of it's speed, greed, violence, and madness, is something we want to break away from, take refuge from, disassociate from. In the mind that stands against, the modern world is considered solely a source of poison in need of an antidote. A place of destruction in need of rebuilding. A source of demons to be feared, and from which we must develop a series of elaborate protections (often spiritual practices) to keep us from being swallowed hole.

Standing against is a hallmark of counter-cultural movements. As a social activist, I have stood against all kinds of forms of oppression, against war, against environmental destruction. As a Zen and yoga practitioner, I have stood against mindlessness, greed, hatred, corruption and power abuses, and endless amounts of ignorance. In all of this, I have discovered again and again, that just standing against isn't a full turning of the dharma wheel. It's a half revolution that leaves you exhausted, frustrated, and often isolated (individually or within a small group).

These days I am finding that what I am called to be in this world, to do in this world, is to be able to similtaneously embrace the current conditions in the world, and also to envision a more just and joyous future world, and act in ways that might aid bringing that about. To work to break down war, oppression, and environmental destruction without clinging to any particular outcome. To meet people and places where they are at, as best as I can. And to be confident enough, and vulnerable enough, to stand upright in who I am, and not to stand against what I fear becoming.

We can take a cue from the yoga pose Tadasana, or mountain pose. Standing tall, firmly, but at ease, being in mountain pose looks like doing nothing, but it's far from that. I like to practice this and other poses outside, precisely because they offer great lessons in exposure, in being out of control of your environment (as opposed the regulation available in a yoga studio or in your home).

You embody the pose, embody your life just as it is, and let come what will. And what comes is the rest of the world. The wind. The rain. The snow. The clouds. The beating sun. Ants. Squirrels. Fallen leaves. Blades of grass. Cats. Voices. People Gawking. Car engines backfiring. Gun shots. Yelling. Birds sqawking. Memories of being a child. Crying. The heart beating. Visions of the future. The air moving in and out of your lungs.

You can't stand against anything in Mountain pose. If you try, you'll get exausted, even though it looks like you're just standing there.

Life is just like this. Can you take it all in as it is, and also manifest peace, justice and joy? They need not be opposed.


#Photo is from Bush Yoga, which might offer a good laugh or two from the political peanut gallery.

The Future of Buddhist Practice

As I was sitting in a staff meeting this morning, feeling like something had changed even though nothing had changed, I wondered how many times the things we were talking about had been discussed before. A few minutes ago, I stumbled upon Chong Go Sunim's current post, and a similar experience occurred. Take a look at this...

I spoke about this before, but you have to make up your mind, tie your belt tightly, and put your understanding into practice. If you do this, then without any lectures or advertising, Buddhism will naturally prosper and spread. As you know, everyone has Buddha-nature, thus it all depends upon making up your mind and making an effort. Anyone can become a follower of Buddhism. There’s no reason why Buddhism shouldn’t prosper. It is just that people are so busy these days that practice isn’t easy, and they often forget about it. However, if you can just remember (about spiritual practice), then it’s possible for you to apply and experience, wherever you are, whether you’re working, standing, or sitting.

No doubt, discussions about the future of various spiritual practices, including Buddhism, are familiar to you. In our hyper-speed, high tech, globalized world, it's easy to wonder if most of the ancient wisdom and traditions will be buried under layers of pop culture and excessive demands on our time.

The above comments seem so simple, don't you think? Just practice sincerely, and more people will join you. I think there's some validity to this, no matter how saturated our world gets with "non-essential distractions."

Here's the fascinating thing about this simple teaching: it was delivered by Korean Seon Master, Hanam Sunim, in 1935.

Life is constantly changing, and yet staying the same in so many ways.