Monday, May 13, 2013

Happy Spirituality

Awhile back, I witnessed an interesting exchange between a male yoga teacher and two female yoga students. The teacher was expressing caution around women doing inversions while menstruating. He cited a long history of teachers agreeing on this point, waving his hands in the air, as if for extra emphasis. One woman raised her hand, and at the same time said, "Almost all of those teachers were men. How long have women been practicing yoga?" This was followed by another woman who basically disagreed with the teacher, citing potential health benefits and personal narratives of her students and friends.

There was some back and forth. At one point during the discussion, the first woman who spoke said, point blank, "I'm just expressing my disagreement with you, is that ok?"

After a few minutes of this, the teacher requested that they drop it and that we move on with the class.

It struck me that the teacher wasn't too comfortable with this kind of conflict. Perhaps he worried about loosing control of the class. I also think there was some sexism going on. Listening to a man insist that he knew better than the women in the room about their own bodies was pretty cringe worthy; I had a hard time looking at him the same after that. However, I think something else was at play here as well. Namely, doing whatever you can to maintain that harmonious, peaceful "yoga environment" that people have come to expect.

The way that discussion played out was a disappointment. Since the teacher insisted that he was essentially right on the matter, I seriously doubt the women who challenged him felt heard at all. And no doubt it impacted others in the room who hadn't spoken up, but perhaps were wondering about either that particular issue, or something else. In addition, the manner of shifting the class away from the conflict gave the impression that the discussion was mostly a distraction from the "real learning" that was supposed to be taking place. Finally, there was the effort immediately following the shift away from the conversation to return everyone to a calm and happy place, as if to override what had just happened.

Now, I feel some compassion for teachers that rush to shift uncomfortable dynamics. I have been there before myself, struggling to respond to something unexpected and volatile appearing in a class. I remember a time when I was teaching adult ESL when a particularly outspoken Muslim student starting putting down those of other spiritual/religious backgrounds. She even went as far as to chastise her fellow Muslim students, who mostly stood up for their classmates and for openness and sharing across differences. I found myself wondering how to stay loyal to my own desire for an active, participatory classroom, and yet also make sure that one or a handful of voices didn't dominate and alienate others. In some ways, this situation was an ESL teacher's dream. Over half the class actively using English to talk about their lives and share opinions. On the other hand, there was a distinct upset quality that lingered long after we had moved on to other things.

Although I did a fairly good job of facilitating space for different students to speak during that class, it was really the students themselves who chose to reach out to each other, and keep things respectful. Even with the woman who was berating them. In fact, our collective tolerance of her actually seemed to shift her views some. Towards the end of class, she was actually speaking positively about other students' beliefs and backgrounds, something I hadn't heard from her before.

At the end of the day, good teaching is always a bit risky. It requires a balance of maintaining your power as a teacher, and giving space to the students in the room to step into their own power. Even if that creates some conflicts along the way.




4 comments:

Eco Yogini said...

i do think it's important to have a space for safe, open discussion and I'm actually quite impressed with the courage those two female yoga students demonstrated with voicing their opinions.

however, i also feel that in the context of a yoga class (and perhaps what you are referring to is not a 'traditional' asana class, or one that leaves more space for a 'discussion period')- there isn't time or space to have an open active discussion.

I feel that discussions in a safe open space can be quite helpful and useful. That said- I also feel there is a time and a place where it is appropriate, and a time and a space where it is not.

For example, it is difficult to have a safe, open discussion about such a topic as you outline initially in your post as typically in a yoga class the teacher is getting ready to teach the class in a set time frame and hasn't time-budgeted for extra discussion, and the general feeling isn't that of 'safe space for disagreement'- it's a space of 'learn from the teacher'. (whether that is ideal, is beside the point).

I guess, what I'm saying, is perhaps a solution could have been the teacher indicating that although there wasn't time for discussion during the class, that he was open to the students differing perspectives and would be happy to chat further with them and others who are interested at the end of the class.

Jeanne Desy said...

I don't know where I've heard and read it, but I have the idea Zen teachers consider being all upset a promising situation. To me, "upset" connotes sort of tripping and almost losing balance, having one's mask knocked askew. We all want to be really balanced, but that's the wrong goal.

Nathan said...

"For example, it is difficult to have a safe, open discussion about such a topic as you outline initially in your post as typically in a yoga class the teacher is getting ready to teach the class in a set time frame and hasn't time-budgeted for extra discussion, and the general feeling isn't that of 'safe space for disagreement'- it's a space of 'learn from the teacher'. (whether that is ideal, is beside the point).

I guess, what I'm saying, is perhaps a solution could have been the teacher indicating that although there wasn't time for discussion during the class, that he was open to the students differing perspectives and would be happy to chat further with them and others who are interested at the end of the class."

Time issues definitely play into this. I also think student expectations play into this. Most student expect to "learn from the teacher," and some will even apply pressure (passively or actively) to ensure that they, indeed, get to learn from the teacher. There are times when this attitude is absolutely correct. I've been in a few asana classes where a student was overly self focused and needed to comment on every little thing until the teacher was forced to redirect. So, I know this isn't a one sized fits all issue. Sometimes, there needs to be less input from individual students, and more direction from a teacher or facilitator.

The particular class I spoke of was not time dependent. It was during a several hour workshop. In fact, the instructor seemed to be soliciting student comments/ideas until his views on this particular issue were questioned.

It was a great workshop overall, but something struck me as off about that exchange. And I've noted it in a few other, shorter yoga classes over the years. Where the appearance of openness and dialoguing was shut down the moment "teacher authority" was upset.

I want to challenge that atmosphere in this post. I am also reminding myself as I step back into active teaching again in a few weeks.

It's a lot easier to just run classes where the teacher is always the "wise" one at the head. In part, because you never have to navigate the sometimes tricky territory between quality discussion and time wasting diversions. I know from experience that the line isn't always clear. But I think that, if at all possible, it's best to have some flexibility. Even in time-sensitive asana classes.

It's a skill that seems to be underdeveloped for the majority of spiritual teachers - the art of facilitating discussions and knowing when to allow and how to cut off with respect and ease.

Nathan said...

"To me, "upset" connotes sort of tripping and almost losing balance, having one's mask knocked askew. We all want to be really balanced, but that's the wrong goal."

I agree. A lot of us lean too heavily towards ensuring a comfortable and safe environment. For students and for teachers. Seems to me that growth and ultimately liberation requires each of us to hang fast in the middle of discomfort.