Friday, September 24, 2010

Get Married To Yourself

I found this post by Brianna Ecklid on Elephant Journal. It's basic enough, for sure, but I think that's what's called for sometimes. Get married to yourself is the gist of it. Stop hoping something outside of you will make you happy and wise, and start waking up to your life as it is.

I have spent too many years trying to control my life and I have learned that the harder you grasp at the sand the faster it slips through your fingers. I tried in vain to lead a life I thought was good enough for others and found myself severely unhappy. I have suffocated under stress that was unnecessary and suffered from the desires of my mind. It is time to take life and find happiness, joy, and spiritual fulfillment for myself; to reach out for my hand and firmly believe that I will find what I seek.

I placed a ring on my finger and silently promised myself that it would not move until I have found that which I seek. I suppose, in a way, this is my Bodhi tree and I am not going to move from it until I find that which I seek. Plus, I might get to have a reception and realistically…what is better than cake and presents?

What she writes about in the first paragraph sounds really familiar to me. The only difference I'd make is that "marrying myself" wouldn't be just "for myself." And of course, there's also a danger of getting taken over by the "seeking" mind, trying too hard to locate some answer to your deepest questions, whether in the outer world or within.

But I think she's onto something here. It's so easy to want something or someone to "complete you," but no one and nothing can do so.

That pit of dissatisfaction we each are attempting to fill with other people, achievements, food, drink, and whatever else is always asking for more.

Perhaps committing yourself to yourself, just as things are, moment by moment, the growling that comes from that pit might cease to overwhelm.

It's worth a try. You already have done the divorce thing with yourself thousands of times. Why not try something new for a change?


Algernon said...

Heck yes. Among the best books about relationships I have ever read is Cheri Huber's Be The Person You Want To Find, and it's all about the relationship you have with yourself before adding another person to the equation. This teaching follows along the same lines.

Chana said...

I think this is the best medicine. "Marrying Yourself", is a bit of a metaphor, but it does get the point across. Learning to be content with what you are is essential in communicating with others. How would it be possible to find someone who is compatible with you if you were faking it? :) So, yea, take the time, through meditation, and take the risk of saying and doing things that really do represent you, then you will be satisfied whether or not the right person comes along.